Snippet Sunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – October 18, 2015

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet is the second half of the scene I started with last week. It runs a little long but I didn’t want this thing to run into three weeks’ worth of snippets. We pick up right where we left off…

My face itched where the blood had begun to dry.

“Who are you guys?”

“You don’t wanna know.”

“Answer me.”

He grunted. It might have been a laugh.

We stood there in silence for a while. As the seconds went by I began, despite my bold statement, to worry about his friends.

I tightened my grip on the Browning as my vision began to go. I blinked until I saw only one of him in front of me.

The guy’s ugly grin twisted into an ugly sneer.

“Might wanna give me that thing before you shoot your foot off,” he said.

A sharp cramp ripped through my gut. I managed to set my jaw against the pain, for a few seconds anyway. I locked my knees to keep my legs from buckling.

“Have it your way”, he said, reaching toward his shoulder holster.

I fired. Two shots, center mass.

The noise of gunfire sliced through the surrounding cornstalks.

His grin drooped into slack-jawed grimace. A .357 Magnum slipped from his grasp, hitting the ground a second before his body.

I moved up and kicked the gun out of his reach, then stood over him, staring down the Browning’s sights.

Blood began to seep through the front of his gleaming white shirt. He raised his head to glance down at his chest, then let it fall back to the ground.

“You dumb bastard,” I muttered.

His features settled into the kind of tragicomic smile that said he’d always known he’d die with bullets in him.

Thanks for stopping by to check out my work and thanks for any feedback you’re inclined to leave.

Please visit other Snippet Sunday writers. Here’s a link to the Facebook post; https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/914957438590441/?notif_t=group_activity

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Posted on October 18, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Nice scene, Jeff. Very well written!

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  2. I LOVE the last line, Jeff. That describes the smile perfectly. Well done.

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  3. Love the physical description of him trying to stay on his feet and conscious.

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  4. Wow, I was totally there in the scene, thanks to your descriptions, especially of our hero nearly losing consciousness. Quite the turn of events! Excellent snippet…

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  5. Great scene. Loved the last line. 🙂

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  6. Loving this snippet. The whole scene pulls you in. Great job.

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  7. Wow! Engaging snippet and that last line is excellent!

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  8. Nice! He got the bad guy first.

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  9. WOW! I think I’m near speechless on this one. Excellent snippet! I LOVE, LOVE that last line.

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  10. Terrific line “His features settled into the kind of tragicomic smile that said he’d always known he’d die with bullets in him” It’s brittle and action packed, great snippet.

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