Snippet Sunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – June 5, 2016

Snippet Sunday is a group for writers I’ve been hanging out with.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet picks up where last week’s left off. Marisa and Jake have made their escape from the bar and are on the road to… who knows where? We open with conversation about Jed’s pending incarceration…

“I guess the man was planning to spend his last night free having a quiet drink or six,” I said.

“Until you gave him something else to think about.”

“I gave him something to think about?”

“Which one of us is cavorting around with his ex?”

“Which one of us sat herself right next to me? On an empty beach?”

She muttered at the window and dismissed me with a wave of her hand.

I hit the next curve at eighty-five, using the right shoulder to pass a battle-scarred produce truck. My tires screeched as I pulled back onto the road. The truck driver gave me the horn. I gave her the finger.

“Now I can believe you’re from New York,” said Marisa, smirking and shaking her head. “Where are we going, Jake?”

“My motel,” I replied. “I don’t know any other places here.”

“Good. Not even Jed wants to cross Evangeline.”

The moonlight broke through the cloud cover, painting the road ahead in incandescent blue.

“Not again, anyway,” she said.


Thanks for stopping by to read, and thanks for any feedback you feel inclined to leave.

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Posted on June 5, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Great banter and wonderful imagery as usual. Felt like I was on the road with them. 🙂


  2. chellecordero

    going to the motel, things could get even more intense…


  3. Love this–
    “having a quiet drink or six…”, “The truck driver gave me the horn. I gave him the finger.”
    And the last line is great!


  4. So atmospheric in tone, which I love. Enjoyed the rush of speed as he went around the truck…very effective excerpt.


  5. There’s a whole lot of back story in that last line.


  6. Not again…the plot thickens. Good snippet. Tweeted.


  7. Good insights with the banter


  8. great last line … says a lot … and a lot of the “Jeff-typical” descriptions. loved the snippet!


  9. “not again” more mystery? I still think she is trouble even without Jed she probably still will find trouble somewhere else.


  10. Like the back and forth. Great snippet.


  11. Love the banter between these two! That last line is sure a hooker! “Not again”? Why not again? What’s the story behind that one? More mystery that I am loving. Great snippet as always.


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