Snippet Sunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – May 28, 2016

Snippet Sunday is a group for writers I’ve been hanging out with.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet picks up where the last one left off. Jake and Marisa have made their exit from Beau’s Bar & Grill – without the brawl they expected.

Now they’re in Jake’s car, heading out into the night…

Like most vehicles of a certain age and tonnage the 1974 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme got from zero to sixty in about three days. If Jed and his party had wanted to catch us they’d have had time to walk to a dealership,  buy a brand new pickup, and then run us down.

I checked the rear view mirror as my beloved scow chugged and gasped into the straightaway, due north from Beau’s Bar & Grill. The door was just as shut as we’d left it. I accepted the absence of a gang of angry locals giving chase, but still gave the Olds more gas.

Sixty to eighty happened much faster. With a bit of forward momentum to work with all eight cylinders got involved, launching us down the moonlit road like a rocket hitting second stage.

“This jail thing,” I said, “when does he have to report?”

She leaned forward,  running her thumbs over her tattooed instep. The blue in the letters of the tattoo and the matching paint on her toes glowed in the soft moonlight.

“Supposed to be tomorrow.” The corners of her mouth twisted upward as she said it.

“Supposed to be?”

“I’ll believe it when I hear that big metal door shut and lock behind him.”

Clouds moved in from over the water, blotting out the moon. I switched on my high beams and concentrated on the road.

I took my right hand off the steering wheel and flexed the ache out of my fingers. I hadn’t noticed how tightly I’d been gripping the thing.

Thanks for stopping by to read, and thanks for any feedback you feel inclined to leave.

Please visit other Snippet Sunday writers’ blogs– especially if you’re a Snippet Sunday writer yourself. This only works if we support each other!

Here’s a handy link; https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/

 

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Posted on May 29, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. I’m with her. I’ll believe it when I see it. Great snippet, Jeff. 🙂

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  2. Lots of cool details in this. I like his love affair with his car. Reminds me of a lot of men I know.

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  3. I love your descriptions and the easy report between these characters. Great snippet!

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  4. As a guy of a certain age, I delighted in your description of the ’74 Olds.

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  5. Nancy Levine

    I love the description of the paint on her toes matching the tattoo and the other descriptions. And I love the Cutlass Supreme–my dad had one for awhile.

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  6. This is priceless!
    “Like most vehicles of a certain age and tonnage the 1974 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme got from zero to sixty in about three days. If Jed and his party had wanted to catch us they’d have had time to walk to a dealership, buy a brand new pickup, and then run us down.”

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  7. So all they have to do is stay out of trouble until he is locked up. Maybe it’s time to skip town for a few hours.

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  8. I believe it when i see it … me too. like his love to the car. just like in real life 🙂

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  9. I love that whole first paragraph! And the fact everyone keeps doubting him being locked up or charged until they actually see it happen really speaks to his reputation. I’d say Jake is a little tense from those last lines too, I don’t think he thinks the storm has passed yet. Great snippet as always!

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