Snippet Sunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – March 6, 2016

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been hanging out with.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to post a snippet.

When we left off, Marisa was telling Jed not to expect much help from anyone in the bar– including Beau, the proprietor– in his potential confrontation with her ex-husband Jed and his pals.

“Beau?” she asked, turning to look. “He’ll defend his bar, sure. Probably call the sheriff for you too, but I wouldn’t expect much more.”
The big bar owner glanced my way. I tried catching his eye. He didn’t return the look but he didn’t look away either.
“I don’t think he scares that easily,” I said.
She shrugged, moving to eliminate any remaining space between us in the process.
“Let’s worry about it when there’s something to worry about,” she said.
“Easy for you to say,” I replied, slipping my arms around her.
She rolled her hips to the beat and tried to pull me toward the middle of the dance floor. I planted my feet where we were.
“This is a good position,” I said, reeling her back in.
“I’ll have to remember that,” she replied, resting her hands on my shoulders.
Jed’s flunkies took another two tunes to arrive.
Three guys in ratty black concert t-shirts– two of them with mullets and matching lumberjack beards, one of them clean-shaved with short blonde hair– rumbled into the bar. They all had that lanky, yet big-boned, build common to bodies accustomed to long hours of physical labor.
They walked right by us on their way to join Jed at the end of the bar.
Jed didn’t look up from his beer.
Beau’s hand dipped back beneath the bar as they passed. I got an eyeful of a walnut brown gun stock when it came back up.

Thanks for stopping  by to read & thanks for any feedback you feel inclined to leave.

Please make sure to check out the work of other Snippet Sunday writers…

 

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Posted on March 6, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Always enjoy reading more from this story. I think your hero is really well drawn with words. I’d love to see him on the screen!

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  2. Oh dear, things are going to get interesting fast. Good snippet, Jeff.

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  3. Sex and violence, a tried and true recipe for success.

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  4. Wow so Beau is going to be the one starting it? Also why is he still doing with Marissa? She is nothing but trouble.

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  5. I’m wondering if the others see the gun too, and heed the warning.

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  6. Not sure what I think of her. At first she was scared now she’s egging them on. Interesting. Can’t wait to see what happens next.

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  7. I like her replies. Great snippet as usual 🙂

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  8. Yeah, the jury is still out for me on Marisa. She seems to be getting off on being the reason for the conflict, but I’ll reserve judgment until I know more. Love the visual in the last line!

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  9. chellecordero

    Oh my, things are about to get hairy.
    Welcome back, missed your snippets.

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  10. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Is she really worth his trouble to be with her? Though he does seem aware of what is going on. I’m interested in seeing how this will all play out.

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  11. Love a great back-and-forth dialogue sequence…and of course, can’t go wrong with a cliffhanger at the end of a snippet. Fun stuff!

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  12. Always wonderfully written. 🙂

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  13. Trouble is brewing. What a cliffhanger at the end, too. Can’t wait to see how this is going to go down.

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