Snippet Sunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – September 13, 2015

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

We’re picking up pretty much where we left off last week– Jake has encountered the law after leaving Marisa’s empty house…

The large man approached me with the flashlight still pointed at my chest. He offered me his other hand.

“Sheriff Orion P. Jones,” he said as we shook.

I could’ve fit both of my hands in the one of his. His skin felt rough and calloused to the touch. I appreciated his not needing to prove the obvious by turning my hand into a diamond.

He stood a full head taller than me, without counting the hat. His official smile held traces of genuine good nature in it. It still couldn’t hide the slight look of irritation very tall people often wear after a lifetime of stooping through doorways and being asked to get things off the top shelf. His dark brown skin looked even darker in the poor light.

“Jake Tunner,” I replied.

“Private Investigator. I know all about you.”

That didn’t give me much to work with so I waited for him to continue.

“By the way,” he said, “you sneak around like most people bang pots and pans in the kitchen. What the hell kind of private eye are you?”

“A clumsy one.”

Thanks for stopping by and thanks for any feedback you feel inclined to leave.

You should also check out other Snippet Sunday writers. Here’s a link to the Facebook group;

https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/

Advertisements

Posted on September 13, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. “A clumsy one.” That’s a great ending hook for the snippet!

    Like

  2. every week I’m impressed by your very unique descriptions … another great snippet.

    Like

  3. “By the way,” he said, “you sneak around like most people bang pots and pans in the kitchen. What the hell kind of private eye are you?”

    “A clumsy one.”

    Ha! So our hero ISN’T as sneaky as he thinks he is! Great dialogue, as always, and so far I like the sheriff.

    Like

  4. Very amusing snippet, good to break tension. Still want to know what is is supposed to find? Dialogue is so good.

    Like

  5. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Made me chuckle– a clumsy private eye. 🙂 Great banter.

    Like

  6. I like your sheriff and the way he’s so blunt, excellent description by the way. Enjoyed the snippet, your writing is so smooth!

    Like

  7. The last lines are funny. Being clumsy isn’t great for a PI.

    Like

  8. Love the last line and the descriptions!

    Like

  9. Oh, I like Jake! He sounds as clumsy as I am. 🙂

    Like

  10. Omg the last lines had me laughing. A clumsy private eye. Love it!

    Like

  11. “A clumsy one” that’s hilarious. But we still don’t know what was in there that made him clumsy.

    Like

  12. Ha! Love that last little exchange! At least he’s honest about being a clumsy one. Now I’m curios if there’s a reason this sheriff already knows all about him though…

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: