Snippet Sunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – September 6, 2015

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

We’re going to skip ahead just a bit– Jake makes his exit from Marisa’s house after he finds whatever it is he finds in there (I can’t give away everything now!! 😉 and makes a new friend. Kind of.

Bright light hit me square in the face as I hit the driveway.

I stopped and pointed my own flashlight where I imagined someone’s eyes should be.

“You’re gonna want to move that light out of my eyes, sir.”

The voice was deep and carried a drill-sergeant’s toughness in it.

I squinted hard and was able to make out a large shape to go with that large voice.

“Likewise,” I said.

“You first,” he said. “Then I’ll consider lowering mine.”

I knew he had a light in one hand. I couldn’t see the other.

“We don’t have all night, Mr. Tunner.”

“You from the sheriff’s office?” I asked.

“I am the sheriff’s office,” he replied. “Drop the light. Now.”

I held my free hand out away from my body and let the hand holding the flashlight fall to my waist.

“I’d feel better about this if I saw a badge,” I said.

“That can be arranged.” He changed the angle of his flashlight so it covered my torso rather than my face. “First things first. Are you armed, Mr. Tunner?”

I blinked until I could see.

His badge was pinned to the front of his button-down shirt, right where it belonged.

“I am,” I said. “I have a permit.”

“In Maryland?”

I made no reply. Didn’t need to.

“We’ll get to that in a bit,” he said. “For now, keep your hands where I can see them and we’ll have no problems in that area.”

Thanks for stopping by to check out my work. If you’re a fellow Snippet Sunday writer please stop by the others’ blogs to read their stuff too!!!

Here’s a link to the Facebook group; https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/

Advertisements

Posted on September 5, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Uh oh. This doesn’t sound good.

    Like

  2. I liked the stand-off situation. Well written.

    Like

  3. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Enjoyed the banter and the way each were trying to decide if they could trust the other. Well done.

    Like

  4. Enjoyed the tone of this scene, felt quite realistic to me. Excellent excerpt!

    Like

  5. Great snippet–like the tension between them!

    Like

  6. I want to know what the sheriff was doing there. Is our hero not as sneaky as he thinks he is? (Or did he call them?) (Or is the sheriff the bad guy?) So many questions!

    Like

  7. I don’t know how Jake thinks, but I don’t think he’s going to be a friend. I love his cautious to the situation, how he thinks to handle it. He’s got a good head on his shoulders. I have to agree with P.T. though, how did this sheriff know he was in the house? Did someone tip him off, or… *Gasp* Is HE the one that left the muddy footprints in the house BEFORE Jake?!

    Like

  8. Noooo!! I wanted to know what he found and instead he is just getting in trouble again! Unfair! The guy really doesn’t seem friendly but I guess I’m a bit biased, I hate strong light right in my face.

    Like

  9. “I am the sheriff’s office,”… love that line. Sounds very realistic and professional. Great dialogue and intrigue.

    Like

  10. I love the tone. I’m also a noir fan!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: