#SnippetSunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – July 19, 2015

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet picks up where my last one left off.

Jake and Jed are still talking business in a booth at Beau’s Bar & Grill. Last week’s snippet ended with the line, “You don’t know him like I do,” spoken by Jed about Deputy Norris. Jake speaks next…

“I don’t know you either.”

“You don’t have to.”

I looked at him out of the corners of my eyes.

“I got friends who’ll vouch for me,” he said. “Ben Franklin. Andrew Jackson. Maybe even Ulysses S. Grant. You know those guys?”

“I have a passing acquaintance with those gentlemen.”

“Take the case and you’ll get to know ’em a lot better.”

“You haven’t asked what it’s going to cost you.”

He leaned to one side and pulled out his wallet, then took a quick glance at the bar, and fished out a pile of bills. He placed them on the table between us. Mr. Franklin winked at me from the top of the stack.

“That enough to get you started?” asked Jed.

We stared at each other while Etta Jones sang about Paris in the jukebox.

He took another look toward the bar halfway through the tune.

My eyes drifted toward the cash. I let it sit where he’d put it.

“Tell me why,” I said.

His face reddened a little and he chuckled.

“Why what, Jake?” he asked.

“Marisa,” I said. I hit him with my best wrecking-ball glare. “Why do you still care?”

Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for any feedback you feel inclined to leave.

If you’re a fellow Snippet Sunday writer, please make sure to make the rounds of everyone’s blogs.

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Posted on July 19, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Great dialogue between them. look forward to finding out why.

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  2. That’s a very good question but Jake is so intrusive. I guess that goes well with the job.

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  3. I’ve always thought Ben Franklin looked good in green. Not as good as Mr. McKinley, of course, but he’s a shy one . . .

    I think I’ve mentioned this before, but if you’re ever looking for beta readers, please consider putting my name on the list? 🙂

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  4. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Great question. Why does he care? Loved these lines: “I got friends who’ll vouch for me,” he said. “Ben Franklin. Andrew Jackson. Maybe even Ulysses S. Grant. You know those guys?”

    “I have a passing acquaintance with those gentlemen.”

    Enjoyed the snippet as usual. 🙂

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  5. I REALLY like this story and I love the dialog, also the way you deal with the money. Terrific snippet! (I can see the movie in my head because you’re describing the scene so well…)

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  6. Nice last line. Makes us want more. I’d like to get better acquainted with Mr. Franklin myself, LOL.

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  7. Why does he still care? I’ve been wondering that myself…

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  8. Gah, cliffhanger! The sudden stopping in question is killing me. Interesting conversation between these two yet. I love the description of the wrecking-ball glare, too!

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  9. Great scene. Very tense. 🙂

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  10. Your dialogue flows so easily I can hear it as I read it. Love the “friends” who’ll vouch for him. I really like the way Jake is tempted by the money but still needs to know more. Great snippet.

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  11. Tough guy talk. You’ve definitely captured the hard-boiled hero. Nice.

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