#SnippetSunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – May 24, 2015

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet picks up where last week’s left off. Jake and Deputy Norris are still talking it all over…

“All right then.” He took another look at the Olds, seemed about to speak, then thought better of it. He pointed at my battered right hand.

“You ought to get that looked at,” he suggested. “I can drive you to the doc’s if you’d like.”

“Thanks,” I said, shaking my head. “Evangeline’s got a guy back at the Sunshade. He’ll fix me up.”

“Yep. Santo’s the best.”

Aches began to register in all of the muscles I’d used in the fight. I gave my arms a good stretch.

“You got any idea what just happened between Jed and Marisa?” I asked.

“It’s not my place to discuss domestic matters.”

“Unofficially?

He chewed on his lower lip for a few seconds, then looked away.

“Unofficially, their relationship’s combustible at best. Combative at worst.”

“Sounds rough.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “And the thing of it is, I don’t know which one of them I feel sorrier for.”

“I have some thoughts on the matter.”

“Just stay away from Jed, Mr. Tunner.’”

“Sure,” I said. “As long as he stays away from me first.”

He looked at me the way you look at a dog you thought was housebroken.

Thanks for stopping by and, as always, thanks for any feedback you feel inclined to leave.

Advertisements

Posted on May 23, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Uh oh. That’s not a good sign. Good snippet, Jeff. 🙂

    Like

  2. liked the last sentence …

    Like

  3. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Sounds like Jed and Marisa have an interesting relationship. lol Love the last line, too.

    Like

  4. Can they go on talking for few more pages, please? And the dog sentence almost made me spit out my coffee 😀

    Like

  5. Some how it would make sense to tell Jed the same, really! I can feel more trouble coming up though.

    Like

  6. That last line, Jeff, is an example of why I’m waiting impatiently for this to be done so I can read the whole thing.

    Jake’s persistence in the face of the deputy’s face is another. 😀

    Like

  7. Enjoyed the tone of their conversation, could really visualize the scene. Great snippet!

    Like

  8. Add me to the list of fans of that last line — and the whole story. And I love that the deputy seems to know everyone… and every*thing*… Very accurate for a small town.

    Like

  9. Jake’s got a way of -not- flying under the radar, doesn’t he? Makes for some good musing, Jeff.

    Like

  10. He looked at me the way you look at a dog you thought was housebroken. Now that’s a good line.

    Like

  11. chellecordero

    Great way you let the characters tell the story through dialogue. Great snippet.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: