#SnippetSunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – February 15, 2015

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

In this week’s snippet… Jake has settled in at Beau’s Bar & Grill. He’s been enjoying the juke box selections– classic blues & some ’60s rock & roll (George Thorogood, Koko Taylor, Robert Cray, Alvin Lee, Jimi Hendrix, & Bessie Smith to be exact). He’s also noted the Confederate flag etched into Beau’s bar mirror. After finishing his dinner, Jake takes a second look at the bar patrons…

“I’m trying to figure out who loaded up the juke box,” I said.

“That’d be me,” he replied. “My bar, my juke box, my tunes.”

“Doesn’t quite fit with the décor.”

He looked over his shoulder at the Confederate flag etching.

“This? Sucker was here when I bought the place.”

“Mean much to you?”

“The War’s over, friend.”

“That’s what I’ve heard.”

“Hope you’re not easily offended. You’re gonna see a lot of those flags flying ’round here.”

“I’m hard to offend.”

Beau chuckled, then set a new pint of beer in front of me.

“I’ll take a shot with that,” I said. “And pour one for yourself. My tab.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” he replied, reaching for the Bushmill’s.

We toasted to being hard to offend.

As always, thank you for stopping by to read my work. Any feedback or comments you feel inclined to leave will be appreciated…

Advertisements

Posted on February 15, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. I love Jake’s voice, Jeff. That last line is excellent, too.

    You know, this scene has the same feel as a Howard Hawks film. Nice.

    Like

  2. Here’s to thick skin! Great dialogue in this scene.

    Like

  3. Lots of scene painted in that dialogue. Great job.

    Like

  4. I toast to that as well. Great snippet.

    Like

  5. We toasted to being hard to offend.

    Great line. This whole thing sounds like the possible start to a friendship. I’m really enjoying it.

    Like

  6. I’d drink to that too! 🙂

    Like

  7. Loved the banter. The way you wrote the snippet, I feel like I could actually hear their voices.

    Like

  8. Agree. Great dialogue. Despite no tags, it was easy to follow. Love the banter.

    Like

  9. It’s nice to be hard to offend. I’m still wondering what’s Beau’s role in the story.

    Like

  10. Love this scene. You get to have a feel for the two characters with just having dialogue.

    Like

  11. Great scene. It gives the reader a look into the atmosphere of the place. 🙂

    Like

  12. Love this scene–I’m picturing the old jukebox.

    Like

  13. Bwahahahaha! Toasting to being hard to offend. 😀 Nicely done, Jeff.

    Like

  14. My editor/mentor always tells me to let dialog drive the action.
    Well done!

    Like

  15. Nice dialogue. I think a few actions tags would be good, though. You don’t need them for us to follow the exchange, but some body language would lift the characters off the page and bring the scene to life, I think. I do like the pacing of dialogue only so it’s a balancing act.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: