#SnippetSunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – January 4, 2014

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines; “Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet continues the early slice of the WIP I posted from last week. Our hero, Jake, has just rolled into town and is checking out the accommodations. The narrative picks up exactly where last week’s left off…

The motel itself was nothing more than a pair of long one-story buildings with white stuccoed exteriors, arranged in an el along two edges of the parking lot. The office, red neon vacancy sign lit in the window, sat in the crotch of the el.

I counted sixteen rooms, three of which had vehicles parked outside their doors. Lights burned in only one room, aside from the office.

I stretched and peeled my t-shirt away from my back before closing the car door.

The wind shifted, replacing the beachy air with the glorious scent of greasy grilled meat. My stomach did an angry little flop. It had been almost four hundred miles since I’d put anything in it other than coffee and a cinnamon sugar donut at a roadside stand two states earlier.

A familiar, bluesy bass line also rode in on the breeze.

I took careful note of the direction they came in from, then headed toward the office.

As always, thanks for visiting & reading. Leave me some feedback, if you’d like…


Posted on January 4, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Aw, man! Now I want a greasy hamburger and it’s 1:30 in the morning.


  2. You set a very clear scene.
    Very “noir.”
    Now, when is something going to happen?


  3. Very descriptive scene. Great job. Now I’m hungry Lol.


  4. I think “crotch of the el” says a lot about the place already, Jeff. 🙂

    I also like “angry little flop”—perfect description.


  5. I’m hungry now. Great snippet!


  6. Wonderful imagery! You’ve set the scene now I want more!!


  7. Super setting of the scene as usual. I’d like some juicy, greasy grilled meat myself.


  8. Great atmosphere! You really bring the scene to live with the descriptions.


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