#SnippetSunday – Hard-Boiled/Noir WIP – December 21, 2014

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines;

“Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

Meyer, Danny, Satsuke, and I need a little time away from each other. In the interim, I’ve returned to an older WIP, something I originally wrote as a serial and am in the eternal process of turning into one coherent work.

It’s a hard-boiled detective story featuring down and out private investigator Jake Tunner. Jake’s had it with the city and has gone on a road trip, ending up at a little beach town in the early off-season. He meets Marisa Reubens on the beach (I’ll probably post that snippet in the coming weeks). They hit it off and end up in Jake’s motel room.

Their post-coital pillow talk is this week’s snippet.


“Yeah, baby?”

“You know how to hurt people, don’t you? If you have to.”

“It’s kinda late for rhetorical questions.”

She nestled in closer, ignoring my reply.

“You’ve killed before, haven’t you?”

 Images out of the past flashed through my head– the ugly, unwelcome kind of images. Sights. Sounds. Regrets.

“What makes you say that?” I grumbled, blinking the memories away.

She ran her fingers across my chest again, lingering around all of the nicks and scars.

“It’s written on your body.”

Those unwelcome images came back. I waited until the empty feeling they brought with them subsided before asking the question.

“You got somebody who needs hurting, Marisa?”

She took some time to consider before answering.

“I think I might, Jake,” she said. “I think I might.”

As always, thanks for reading. Let me know what you think….


Posted on December 21, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I love that last line! It’s a great snippet all around but that last line really hooked me in.


  2. I love this introduction: They hit it off and end up in Jake’s motel room …
    Let’s hope she’s not taking advantage of him … l like the dialogue and the flashbacks.


  3. This is one of those moments I really wish we are allowed more than 10 sentences… Great snippet!


  4. Oh, man, if she said that to me, my stomach would be in my boots. Nicely done, Jeff.


  5. Ah, a lady who needs a favor. If sure that whether he accepts or declines the opportunity, his decision will affect the plot in interesting ways. 🙂

    Very nicely written, Jeff!


  6. Guess that meeting on the beach might not have been so casual after all. Merry Christmas, Jeff. I hope Santa is good to you.


  7. does she want to hurt somebody or completely get rid of them? 😉 gotta love sexy, murderous women 😉


  8. This was really excellent dialogue! Definitely hooked me.


  9. Now, I wonder how much was it that she loves him and how much it is that she picked him up because she needs to kill someone.


  10. Excellent pillow talk between your hero and heroine, and the last line… I want to know more.


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