#SnippetSunday – As Yet Unnamed WIP (Vigilante/Noir) – November 23, 2104

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines;

“Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

Today’s snippet comes from a scene in the aftermath of the fight with the Phone Booth and Rebar Guy. The NYPD comes calling at Danny’s apartment the next day, while Meyer is visiting. The detectives, veteran Lieutenant Aurelio Mendoza and his rookie partner, Detective Harvey Morris, are making inquiries about the violence of the previous night. Meyer and Danny are being evasive…

“That’s interesting,” grumbled Lieutenant Mendoza. “Very interesting.” He let his sleep-deprived eyes give Danny the same treatment they’d given me. “Any idea why a pair of nice boys like those two would be interested in paying you a visit?”

Danny shrugged.

“They must have heard about my world famous gefilte fish recipe.”

Mendoza showed us his weary, disappointed look, then rubbed his temples. Deep lines showed in the places his mustache once covered.

“I thought you said it was too early for comedy,” he complained.

“Did I say something funny?” asked Danny. “What? The gefilte fish thing? It’s true. Want to know my secret recipe? Okay. I’ll tell you. I go to Zabar’s and buy the stuff, like everyone else on the Upper West Side. Want to hear another secret? Don’t tell my zadie’s ghost, but I hate that shit. Don’t tell anyone at all. They’ll take away my Jew card for that.”

“I’d have expected a little more cooperation from a former law enforcement professional, Mr. Bergleson,” said Mendoza’s rookie partner.

“There’s no such thing as a former law enforcement professional, son,” replied Danny.

Thanks for taking the time to read my work!


Posted on November 23, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Man, I love Danny! That last line…he’s a bad risk but I’m half in love with him, anyway.

    And I agree about the gifilte—that stuff is all kinds of nasty. The Eighth Plague, my uncle calls it. 🙂


  2. Danny is a character. Great snippet this week.


  3. ““There’s no such thing as a former law enforcement professional, son,” replied Danny” great line!


  4. I like Danny too, and of course everyone is right. That last line is great.


  5. Danny’s great! And I agree about the “former law enforcement…” No such thing. 🙂


  6. love Danny, I can picture him talking, great job!


  7. Danny somehow gave all the clues but it doesn’t seem to be enough. Nice dialogue.


  8. What a great scene, the dialogue is great. loved it. gefilte fish? LOL


  9. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Loved the casual banter between your characters. Fantastic job!


  10. I love the interaction and the snappy dialog. Nicely done, Jeff. 🙂


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