#SnippetSunday – As Yet Unnamed WIP (Vigilante/Noir) – October 6, 2014

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines;

“Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet is the second half of the fight Meyer got into in last week’s…

I felt the wind on my face at about the same time I noticed Danny’s frenzied waving.
The Phone Booth hadn’t been alone after all.
I dropped into a clumsy crouch as a foot and a half of rebar sliced through the space where my head had been.
The swing and a miss put Rebar Guy– a wiry army fatigue-wearing guy with a shaved head and a prominent chin– off-balance.
I snapped off a low back kick as he stumbled by.
He screamed as the ligaments in his right knee came apart. The rebar slipped out of his hands.
I jumped on his back.
His remaining good leg faltered.
I held him up, working one arm over his shoulder and around his neck. I positioned my bicep against his throat, then squeezed.
He pulled and slapped at my arm and shoulders, fighting for air.
I braced my other forearm against the back his neck, increasing the pressure on his carotid arteries.
He flailed for another few seconds, then went slack.
I let him fall, then dropped to a knee, watching his chest for signs of respiration.

Thanks for reading!

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Posted on October 5, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. “I dropped into a clumsy crouch as a foot and a half of rebar sliced through the space where my head had been.”
    That’s a good line.
    It seems the fight scene last week had more of a sense of urgency and was a bit more intense.
    Still this was a good 8.

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  2. Wouldn’t want to mess up with this main character of yours! 😉 Great action!

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  3. I’m curious. Isn’t Danny fighting too? The narrator seems really strong.

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  4. He’s got the moves. Good action scene!

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  5. Karen Michelle Nutt

    The vivid descriptions paint the scene so vividly.

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  6. Great descriptions–I almost feel sorry for Rebar guy (that’s probably because I’m going to have knee surgery soon). Love the “swing and a miss” baseball line.

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  7. I agree with Chip about the lesser intensity of this bit, but I think that fits: since Danny isn’t in immediate danger, to me (and maybe to Meyer, considering what I know of his priorities) this seems like a “secondary” fight. Meyer is just cleaning up.

    Makes it look easy, too. 🙂

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  8. Nice fight scene. Swing and a miss line is good too.

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  9. So descriptive love it. Cant wait to check in next week.

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  10. Great snippet! The Rebar Guy line kind of throws the cadence off. It might work better if his description was within the sentence versus as an aside in the middle.
    Can’t wait to read more!

    Like

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