#SnippetSunday – As Yet Unnamed WIP (Vigilante/Noir) – Sunday August 31, 2014

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines;

“Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet picks up right where last week’s left off… just after Danny’s ominous line; “He who knows what awaits us on the other side is the deadliest of men.”

The heaviness of his declaration hung around for a while. The scraping of forks on plates and the low hum of murmured conversations from around the diner provided out soundtrack for brooding.
“If I agree to this,” I began, “what am I supposed to tell the cops when they show up at my door when I’m done taking out the trash?”
“Didn’t I just tell you I still have friends on the force?”
I watched the frustration smolder in his eyes, the frustration of a man who’d once been accustomed to taking care of such matters himself. I placed my hand on his shoulder.
“What you’re asking me to do, is this prevention or revenge?”
He put his hand on top of mine and showed me a smile that had nothing to do with joy.
“I’ve found that one can often achieve the former through a judicious and thorough application of the latter.”

Thanks for reading…

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Posted on August 31, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Intriguing snippet and great last line!

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  2. “The heaviness of his declaration hung around for a while.”
    Great line. I like it.
    I would like it better if one of the characters delivered some dialog that let the reader feel the heaviness, rather than hear it from the narrator.
    Great 8!
    (When’s the book due out?)

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  3. Uh-oh. That last line doesn’t bode well, either for the target or for our hero . . . Great for readers, though! 🙂

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  4. Oh, man, that does make this heavier than usual. Nicely done, Jeff. You’ve sucked me right in with this tale. 🙂

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  5. Love the intensity of this scene. Nicely done. (My eyes are tired/burning/allergy-ridden so I’m not seeing well, but is that “ouT” soundtrack or “ouR” soundtrack?)

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  6. Oh well done! That last line is super.

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  7. ha! now I want to keep reading and find out what a “judicious and thorough” revenge is like! great job keeping the reader hooked!

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  8. Don’t think I like these people.

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  9. Revenge is so bad that it’s so good at the same time. Really good dialogue again.

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