#SnippetSunday – As Yet Unnamed WIP (Vigilante/Noir) – August 24, 2014

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines;

“Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

This week’s snippet picks up close to where last week’s left off… We’re still at the Moonstruck Diner with Meyer and Danny. The conversation that’s turned heavy is about to get heavier… We move up a little bit in the conversation. Danny has just told Meyer that nobody in the neighborhood, including the temple caretaker who was assaulted, will come forward as witnesses.

It’s longer than 8-10 sentences. Again. I know, and I apologize. I just can’t help myself.

“Why not get Satsuke for this?” I asked him. “She’s the most dangerous person I know.”

“You, my boy, are far more dangerous.”

I dropped my french fry and forced myself to look him in the eye.

“How do you figure that?”

“You’ve met death. You’ve been in his kitchen, and you came back.”

I let the weight of his words– and his life– settle around me.

The concentration camp. The Korean War. A dozen years on the force.

He was no stranger to death himself. All he’d seen showed in the deep lines and crags worn into his face.

I felt very small in his presence.

“You’ve never told me what you experienced,” he continued, “and I won’t ask you to now, but it changed you. I know it did.”

I didn’t even try to reply.

Danny went on.

“He who knows what awaits us on the other side is the deadliest of foes.”

Thanks for reading!

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Posted on August 24, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. I’m not sure if that is going to convince him. It’s like asking him to go back to the worst place he ever visited. But that’s also placing a lot of trust on him. Very nice interaction.

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  2. “You’ve met death. You’ve been in his kitchen, and you came back.” Fantastic line!

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  3. ““He who knows what awaits us on the other side is the deadliest of foes.” — another great line.
    Your dialog grabs the reader by the throat and won’t let go.
    Kudos!

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  4. oooh, love that last line!

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  5. Great dialog here! You had my attention. And the above comments– I agree both lines were fantastic!

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  6. Excellent as always, Jeff! The respect that Meyer has for Danny comes shining through—and Danny’s lines . . . goosebumps.

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  7. I LOVE the last line, Jeff. And yeah, that’s true enough. Great snippet.

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  8. “You’ve met death. You’ve been in his kitchen, and you came back.” I love that line, and I love I let the weight of his words– and his life– settle around me. Actually, I like the whole excerpt.

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  9. Nice! Several great lines in this snippit.

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  10. Awesome dialogue, and I love the way you showed what he was thinking/feeling.

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  11. Powerful dialogue. Great job!

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  12. Great dialogue, but I love “You’ve met death. You’ve been in his kitchen, and you came back.” well done!

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