#SnippetSunday – Night Train (Noir)

Welcome to my inaugural #SnippetSunday post.

Snippet Sunday is a Facebook group for writers I’ve been privileged enough to have been accepted into.

From the group guidelines;

“Welcome to Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share a few sentences of their current project–whether it’s a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Intended to hook readers, gather feedback and build an author’s fan base, Snippet Sunday is the FB group that does all three.”

 

Today’s Snippet comes from the latest chapter of a serial noir novella I’ve been putting out.

The premise of the story goes like this…

It’s 1928. New York gangster Moe Shabansky has had a run-in with his boss, Big Jack Lerner. After a confrontation, Moe skips town in the company of the beguiling Cajun, Madeline Perilloux, in an attempt to buy himself some time to consider his options and plan his return to New York. We pick up the action with Moe and Madeline on the run after a disagreement with some locals…

Madeline grinned and hit the accelerator. Our pursuers kept pace.
“How many we got back there, chouette?” she drawled.
I stuck my head out the window and took another look.
“Three. That I can see.”
“Only three?”
She sped up some more. The trees lining the side of the road became a shadowy blur in the fading light.
“You know where you’re going?” I asked.
“I got the water to my right,” she replied. “How hard could it be?”

Thanks for checking me out. I hope to see some of you back to see how the story develops…

 

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Posted on May 26, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Welcome to Sunday Snippets!

    I love the last line.. it has “famous last words” written all over it! Can’t wait to see what goes wrong…

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  2. Karen Michelle Nutt

    I’m intrigued. Oh, there’s so much that can go wrong. Can’t wait to find out what. 🙂

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  3. Water to the right, how hard can it be? Very nice! lol Great snippet, Jeff, and welcome. 🙂

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  4. I love noir and snappy dialogue, and this story looks like it’s offering both! Add me to the fan list for that last line—and also “Moe Shabansky”, which may be one of the best character names for a 1928 gangster ever.

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    • Thank you! In the interest of full disclosure– Shabansky is my maternal grandmother’s maiden name. Funny story… when her family emigrated from Poland (via Russia) their name was Shab. While everyone else was getting the ‘ski’ removed from their last names my great grandfather, proud of his Polish heritage, had it added.

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  5. Yeah, great line about the water.
    Is she talking about the Big Muddy or one of the many bayous?
    LA native here, looking for some lagniappe!

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    • Thanks! They’re on the eastern shore of Maryland. My character, Madeline, is a Louisiana native. She knows she’s got the Atlantic Ocean on her right… but there are a few things she doesn’t know…

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  6. She is definitely full of confidence, he is lucky to have her around.

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